Well, it is just that, another day in March. Nothing special. I am trying though to get back my body for summertime. Man that feels like a horrible battle that I will never win. I feel like I eat way too many salads and I am in the gym, what feels like every day. Why can't a spring month arrive, I shed my winter coat, and with that off come the pounds? Why does it have to be so dang difficult? It wasn't that hard to put it on! I don't even remember doing it. But, all of the sudden, there it was. My pants went up a size and my bathroom scale was showing me some crazy number. That can't be right!
So, here I am on the eliptical, no motivation whatsoever, huffing and puffing. Sigh! After that I head to the weights. Now remember this is the first I have done this since the surgery. I used to be a pretty buff gal. I believe I was pressing 70 lbs. on my normal machine (I couldn't tell you what that machine is called , I just do it). I can now barely press 20 lbs. I am shaking like crazy and my breasts feel separate from my chest wall. It is the weirdest feeling ever. It feels like if I keep doing this, my boobs are just going to slide off of my body! What the heck is this all about? Someone should have warned me about this. I do as many reps as I can, which I think were only like 10. I feel so comepletely lightheaded and totally defeated. I get up to go to the locker room and I can barely walk. I think I may pass out. This is so embarrassing and humiliating. And of course I feel like everyone can see it on me. I get to the locker room finally and sit down for about 5 min. until I can catch my breath and I have a little crying session with myself. I feel like such a wuss!
It has been about 2 weeks since then, and I have taken a few yoga classes, a kick boxing class and done my normal eliptical and weights routine. Getting on the weight machine today I realize that I am improving and my boobs are feeling more connected now and I may not have them slide onto the floor. Thank goodness! I am pressing 35 lbs. now and am feeling a little more confident.
I have swiched from the emu oil to a scar guard and seeing if that will help to reduce the scars any quicker. Who knows which product is the best. Test and try.
I haven't lost any weight yet but at least I am working on it and getting in there. My muscle tone has to be improving and in due time the weight will come off.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
Another routine visit. December 14, 2011
Mark and I headed down to Missoula after work for another visit with Dr. Hardy. My incision on the left breast had again opened up in 2 places. It again was a couple of sutures that my body didn't absorb and it gets pussy, opens the incision and spits out the suture. This time he did not stitch it up. It was only open on the surface and we just let my body heal and close on it's own.
Questions that I had were:
Why do my breast hurt so badly in the cold?
Because it is silicone and not my own tissue it does not heat up like the rest of my body. This causes my muscles in the breast to tense up. He said I just need to move somewhere warm. Okay! I can deal with that! Tropical? Heck yes! The girls look better in a bikini top anyway rather than a nonflattering parka!
Why am I having such intense pain in my back?
I am guarding it. I need to exercise and stretch those muscles. So when I got home I googled physical therapy stretching after breast surgery. I have been doing those now and what a world of difference. Don't baby it...stretch it.
http://www.cancer.org/Cancer/BreastCancer/MoreInformation/exercises-after-breast-surgery
Will my cancer breast implant ever drop and not be so stiff?
Massage, massage, massage. But the answer was an alarming NO! Hmmm....I don't think that is what he had said on previous visits. I can look back to other blogs, but I think he had said, "gravity will eventually take its course." Now that is not the case. Matter of a fact he also said that he may have to go in there and remove scar tissue if it becomes a problem. He may have to do that a couple of times. What? Grrr!
Well, All in all the visit went fine. Just heard some things that I wasn't too excited about but I will have to live with that.
The girls look great compared to what they did before this whole process and I would do it all again in a heartbeat!
Questions that I had were:
Why do my breast hurt so badly in the cold?
Because it is silicone and not my own tissue it does not heat up like the rest of my body. This causes my muscles in the breast to tense up. He said I just need to move somewhere warm. Okay! I can deal with that! Tropical? Heck yes! The girls look better in a bikini top anyway rather than a nonflattering parka!
Why am I having such intense pain in my back?
I am guarding it. I need to exercise and stretch those muscles. So when I got home I googled physical therapy stretching after breast surgery. I have been doing those now and what a world of difference. Don't baby it...stretch it.
http://www.cancer.org/Cancer/BreastCancer/MoreInformation/exercises-after-breast-surgery
Will my cancer breast implant ever drop and not be so stiff?
Massage, massage, massage. But the answer was an alarming NO! Hmmm....I don't think that is what he had said on previous visits. I can look back to other blogs, but I think he had said, "gravity will eventually take its course." Now that is not the case. Matter of a fact he also said that he may have to go in there and remove scar tissue if it becomes a problem. He may have to do that a couple of times. What? Grrr!
Well, All in all the visit went fine. Just heard some things that I wasn't too excited about but I will have to live with that.
The girls look great compared to what they did before this whole process and I would do it all again in a heartbeat!
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