Just another day in March

Well, it is just that, another day in March. Nothing special. I am trying though to get back my body for summertime. Man that feels like a horrible battle that I will never win. I feel like I eat way too many salads and I am in the gym, what feels like every day. Why can't a spring month arrive, I shed my winter coat, and with that off come the pounds? Why does it have to be so dang difficult? It wasn't that hard to put it on! I don't even remember doing it. But, all of the sudden, there it was. My pants went up a size and my bathroom scale was showing me some crazy number. That can't be right!
So, here I am on the eliptical, no motivation whatsoever, huffing and puffing. Sigh! After that I head to the weights. Now remember this is the first I have done this since the surgery. I used to be a pretty buff gal. I believe I was pressing 70 lbs. on my normal machine (I couldn't tell you what that machine is called , I just do it). I can now barely press 20 lbs. I am shaking like crazy and my breasts feel separate from my chest wall. It is the weirdest feeling ever. It feels like if I keep doing this, my boobs are just going to slide off of my body! What the heck is this all about? Someone should have warned me about this. I do as many reps as I can, which I think were only like 10. I feel so comepletely lightheaded and totally defeated. I get up to go to the locker room and I can barely walk. I think I may pass out. This is so embarrassing and humiliating. And of course I feel like everyone can see it on me. I get to the locker room finally and sit down for about 5 min. until I can catch my breath and I have a little crying session with myself. I feel like such a wuss!

It has been about 2 weeks since then, and I have taken a few yoga classes, a kick boxing class and done my normal eliptical and weights routine. Getting on the weight machine today I realize that I am improving and my boobs are feeling more connected now and I may not have them slide onto the floor. Thank goodness! I am pressing 35 lbs. now and am feeling a little more confident.

I have swiched from the emu oil to a scar guard and seeing if that will help to reduce the scars any quicker. Who knows which product is the best. Test and try.

I haven't lost any weight yet but at least I am working on it and getting in there. My muscle tone has to be improving and in due time the weight will come off.